My Hair Is Growing

Zometa Infusion

I had my Zometa infusion on Monday morning. That wipes me out for a couple of days. I get a fever and the sweats...not pretty. I wasn't sure about why I was switched from Aredia to Zometa, and I asked Dr. Sherman about it. He said, basically, it's too expensive. I guess too expensive for him because I don't pay anything for it. What has me worried is that I met an older gentleman in the infusion room who had been on Zometa, but it badly affected his liver so he was switched to Aredia. Now I have been switched from Aredia to Zometa! But Gwen, one of the infusion nurses told me that it is the patients' Creatinin levels that they watch...to see if the liver function is good...an, in fact, my Creatinin level has dropped by a point (which is good). So it appears that I am still safe with Zometa. Plus it takes less time to infuse than the Aredia. The elder gentleman told me he was switched to Aredia after the second infusion of Zometa. This was my second infusion of Zometa...so we'l see. He said he didn't feel any change in his body when his liver function went bad...so it is just the big labs (blood work) that tell if the Creatinin is going out of whack. Come on liver!

Uneventful Event

I went to the doctor's office yesterday (medical oncologist). He gave me a flu shot, a shot of Lupron (which shuts down my ovaries and keeps me post-menopausal), and a prescription for Arimidex (hormone therapy for my cancer).

Houston 2, LA Angels 0, Top of 6 (Game 2 NLCS)

Well I got the confusion about blood tests figured out. I just go every two weeks to get BIG LABS, and now that I have my PRO-TIME at the right TIME (2.3) I only need to check that every month. Another thing that helped was having the doctor's office rewrite the standing order for BIG LABS to include cc:'s to me and the radiation oncologist. The original goes to my medical oncologist.

I have recently discovered a newsgroup for breast cancer folks like me (with metastatic cancer), thanks to a link from a link from a link I found on someone else's blog. I can't even trace it back to the original blog! Shame on me. Anyway, the url is bcmets.org. I love this site! Sooo much information for me, written by people with Stage IV cancer like myself.

My white blood cells are still low, and I am told to expect that for some time to come.

I went for a walk tonight with Mark. Didn't go far, but we went and that is what's important.

I have been having dry coughs at night, and when I am not, I have really heavy and thick chest congestion. Don't know why...

I am taking new drugs for my numb leg: Neurontin and Lyrica. Both are anti-seizure drugs that are also used in patients with neuropathy. It'd be nice to have a drug primarily for the neuropathy and maybe secondarily for seizures...SINCE I DON'T HAVE SEIZURES! What do I know? The spine surgeon who is prescribing the Lyrica [new drug on the market, btw...he prescribed it after i started crying in his office when he told me "It may or may not work (at getting rid of the numbness in my leg), it will do what it wants..."] said that a cortisone shot in my back and leg is usually indicated in cases such as mine, but since I am blood thinner (Coumadin) he won't give it to me. WAAAA! I feel like such a prisoner! Pisses me off, frankly. Oh well, God wouldn't close doors without leaving one open...so picture going around the *house* banging on walls trying to find the darn window!

Cheers!

For the past several months I have been trying to fit my cancer into the three months allowed to employees in the United States in the Family Medical Leave Act. I have now realized that this cannot be done. I have worried about this since February. Thanks to a wonderful lady at my office (she was interim Director of Pharmacy-M.I.S.), I am being afforded time to recover from the effects of all of the treatment I have received since February. This woman is truly an angel. This has been a long tough road...and the thing of it is, it is not over. I have been pretty hard on myself, too. I have expected to be "myself" again shortly after radiation therapy was complete. I'm not the same old me, and frankly, I won't be for some time. I have been depressed about it. It is like I have refused to give myself the time to heal. The truth is that I have been worried about work. You see, even though I completed "treatment" for breast cancer, I am not yet ready to get back to work. Okay, the FMLA is great for pregnancies, maybe or other non-chronic medical issues. But my situation might be a little different than those. I have stage 4 cancer. Don't get me wrong, I do not plan on giving up on myself....I just know now that I need to give myself time to heal. Thankfully, I am being afforded the opportunity to do just that. Work has approved my working from home until I am better. I am blessed with wonderful, understanding people in my life. I am anxious to contribute to my department, although the logistics of getting that underway are not straightened out yet, but I am assured they will be. The wonderful lady of whom I speak is Paula D. Thank you, Paula, for your concern for me. And thank you also for the opportunity to contibute from home while I recuperate from treatment.

I Swam A Mile

I checked my blood count on Friday afternoon...and I was okay to swim on Saturday! Whew! It was so hard to swim after not swimming for a couple of weeks. The first week of swimming I missed was due to the infected open skin from radiation, and I missed another week of swimming because of low white blood cells. I am happy to report that I made it! I swam the entire mile! It was a great day at Mills College. The weather was hot on Saturday: very hot when the sun was out, and tolerable when the clouds obscured it. But being in the water was good...not too hot, not too cool. Mark and I picked up my sister, Erin, and drove out to Oakland. My sister, Arlene (she also swam a mile), brought her husband and three of her children. Arlene and I were able to swim in a lane to ourselves. I have got to tell you, Arlene is a great swimmer. She has such stamina!

Anyway, when we got there we found the parking lot was a long way from the pool, so Mark dropped off Erin and me up by the pool and went to park the car himself. Arlene and her family got a late start out on the road so they got to Mills College a little bit later than we did..but only by a few minutes. We got in line and checked in with the registration desk where we were handed our tshirt coupon (every swimmer got a free tshirt) and we were pointed to Desk #1.

At Desk #1 we filled out our personal information card. On this card we put our name and who we were swimming in honor of and/or in memory of. We could also indicate if this was our first Swim A Mile.

At Desk #2 we were sorted by speed. I was sorted as a medium speed swimmer and my sister Arlene was sorted as a fast swimmer. She got a card that had a shark on it and my card had some other kind of fish. These cards help the staff with lane assignments.

At Desk #3 we were given our Swim A Mile goodie bags. They are nice! Inside were a few goodies: a local publication, some flyers for WCRC activities, and a Luna Bar! I had never had a Luna Bar and I enjoyed it very much. At Desk #4 we were directed to the locker rooms to change. Arlene and I are veteran swimmers and arrived in our swimming suits and towels so all we need was a place to drop our clothes. We chose a spot on the opposite side of the pool where no one was. It wasn't that way for long, though. Soon after we put our things on that side of the pool, it filled up fast. It was just too small in the locker rooms and way too crowded and humid. Plus, I am uncomfortable with too many naked female bodies at once. My sisters are the same way. Anyway...

At Desk #5 there were several Sharpies and spcial cards and an Honor/Memory Wall. We could use the pens and paper to indicate whom we were dedicating our swim to. I swam in memory of my mother, Angie Cronan, and my paternal gradmother, Ruth Viola Truesdell Cronan Dunton.

And finally, Desk #6 is where we swimmers would wait for our lane assignments. We were escorted to our lanes from this point.

So, we swam. And we swam. And we swam a mile.

We had our very own lap counters: Erin and Mark. We had lots of support in Arlene's kids and Duke. Laneia, Arlene's youngest, was very busy with the camcorder, and The Cybershots were going crazy. I don't have a picture to post yet (I am waiting on Arlene to send me some). Arlene is good. She swam her mile in about 34 minutes. I finished in about 40 minutes.

It was a great event. Lots of volunteers. Very well organized. There was a big food area. They served sandwiches, fruit, salads, ice cream sandwiches, chips, water, juice...it was a regular smorgasbord. Our registration entitled us to a raffle ticket, but we didn't win anything. But that's okay! We did it for cancer research...and the giving is the greatest gift we got. Ok, that and the cool bags.

Doctor Sree

I went to see Dr. Sreenivasan recently. She had mentioned that if I was concerned about losing weight she might be able to help me. So I went to see her. Can you believe she said, "Don't worry about your weight, Sweetie. You're beautiful!" OMG. I am so not fine. I don't feel fine. I don't care how I look at this point. I feel horrible. I am also concerned about diabetes. My mom was diabetic and I don't want to become diabetic as well. Dr. Sree assured me that I am not in danger of becoming diabetic at this time. She said no problem at all.

What she was concerned about, however was my low white blood cell count. She told me I am at great risk of infection, so I stayed home from work for the last few days of the week. The first couple of days this week I was exhausted and had a fever. I think it was because of the Zometa. I hope to be back at work on Monday.

Liver Function

I got a call from my dermatologist's office today. She (the dermatologist) as going to prescribe me Lamisil for a fungal infection I have developed, but when she got my blood test results, found that my liver function was off. So, I can't use Lamisil. Great. She even offered to fax my results to my primary physician and my oncologist because she is concerned about my liver. Wonderful. If it ain't one thing, it's another.

New Drug - Zometa

I went to the doctor's (medical oncologist's) office yesterday. I got a new drug in my IV. It's not Aredia anymore. Now it's Zometa. I felt feverish yesterday and really exhausted. On top of that I feel like I am getting an earache. I hope I can still participate in the Swim A Mile For Women With Cancer on Saturday.

I am worried about my Norco prescription. I only have six tablets left. I don't use it all the time (I take it for pain in my back and leg). In fact I only take it maybe four nights a week and only at night. The Norco was prescribed initially by my surgical oncologist, but then it was refilled by the nurse practicioner at my medical oncologists office because I was in chemotherapy when my sciatica and the numbness came back in my left leg. (what I had used before for my leg was Ibuprofen 800, but since I am blood thinner/anticoagulant: Coumadin, I can't use it) It doesn't seem right to ask my medcical oncologist to refill the prescription when I am seeing a new doctor for my back problems, so I am going to get an appointment for the back doctor. The problem is, my appointment is not for two weeks from now and I am afraid of the pain coming back once I have run out of pills.

A Walk In The Park

On Sunday, September 25, 2005, Mark and I went to a ballgame: Oakland v. Texas. It was a fantastic day. It was Breast Cancer Awareness Day at the park. Here is how I got invited... I was in Longs #94 one day picking up one of my many prescriptions and I met Teresa. Teresa is a breast cancer survivor. Teresa was checking as a cashier at the time and wore a few Oakland A's pink ribbon pins on her collar. Since I am a big A's fan who had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, I asked her about them. She told me the A's have a breast cancer day every year and she gave me a number for survivors to call to get an invitation. So, in July, because I am a survivor, I got my invite. Here is what the day included:

• two tickets (one for me and one for a companion - I took Mark, of course)
• bagels and cream cheese, juice, water or soda, jamba juice when we arrived to check in
• a goodie bag packed to the brim...I mean this thing was HEAVY with free stuff!
• a pink tshirt to wear on the field
• sandals
• a catered lunch - cafeteria style...yummy
• a luncheon with several guest speakers from the bay area....tv news anchors and popular radio hosts included as well as players' wives
• the promotion for the day; Bobby Kielty Troll Dolls!
• finally, we all got to walk on the field during a pre-game ceremony. The survivors marched on the field and moved into position to make a huge pink ribbon, while the supporters marched along the dirt track all around the field. my sister, Arlene and her husband Duke were there to show their support for me on that day, in addition to Mark, of course.

During the ceremony, white doves were released in remembrance of those who did not survive the deadly disease, and at the end of the Star Spangled Banner, all of the survivors released the pink ballons that we marched out with. It was a glorious sight.

After releasing the ballons, we marched back off the field and to our loved ones. Then it was time for baseball. The A's didn't win that night, but that's okay. I had a great day. I felt so important that day. Plus it was all free!

Both Mark and Arlene and Duke told the same story: as they were walking down to the field in between s survivors, they were applauded. However they were confused about getting applause. They figured WE, the survivors deserved the applause. I told her that we didn't choose to have cancer. Having cancer doesn't really require courage (in my opinion). She says, "We didn't do anything to deserve that clapping". Untrue. The survivors got free tickets to the game and all of the festivites. But the supports had to dig in to their own pockets to take part. Their tickets cost $25.00 each and included the walk in the park. The supporters are the ones that made this whole giving event a giving event. You see? God blesses us with those who give from the heart. They bless those of us with cancer, and those of us who will get cancer and don't yet know it.

I Miss Radiation Therapy

Yep. I miss all those silly people. No, I don't miss the radiation...just the folks. They said I can still come around and visit them in Radiation Oncology at the hospital, and if I feel like it, I can even put on the gown. Yeah. Right.

They are really such special people. They have become so much a part of my world over the last six and a half weeks (I guess they would, since I have had to go to the radiation oncology department every day of those six and a half weeks. Everyday except for weekends and the Labor Day holiday.....because we all know that cancer doesn't grow on weekends and holidays..lol).

I wanted to do something special for them on my last day of radiation, so I stopped at Jamba Juice on the way in and picked up about sixteen smoothies for everyone. I think they liked them. It was a fun "last day of radiation". They (the therapists and Kristen and Margaret [the boss]) hummed "Pomp And Circumstance" for me when they presented me with my certificate of completion...like a graduation diploma. The day before I picked up a bunch of cookies from Cookies By Design.

I was dreading my last day of radiation therapy. They really are an amazing bunch of people. So caring! And it turns out...SO FUN! I cried and cried on my last day. I came away with a few email addresses and telephone numbers, though...so I am good.

I pulled one other stunt on my last day of radiation therapy. I drew a happy face on my left breast. What the heck? They wrote on me everyday with their Sharpies! I thought I would surprise them with a little design of my own and hopefully get them to laugh, too. Mission accomplished. Heck, I was proud of my handiwork I was showing my boob to folks who weren't even therapists! Sherry took some digital pictures of my left breast with my drawn-on artwork. They said, "Put the pictures on the blog!". As if. I only agreed to let them take the picture so they could put it in my file. There it will be protected by HIPAA. God, I hope so. =:o

My last appointment on the Primus (that is the name of the machine that was administering the radiation) was not the last time I will go to radiation oncology. I have a three month check up in...you guessed it...three months. And then, after that, I will have a six month checkup and then annual check ups.

Open Skin

I haven't been feeling up to posting to this blog because of the open skin on my chest near my neck. The radiation made my skin so thin around my supraclavicular area and that, coupled with the chlorine in the water at the pool drying my skin caused my skin to break open and get weepy. I was given some FlexiGels to put on the area and it felt sooo good. I was also given Domeboro solution powder packs and they have really helped the skin grow back. I guess it also proteced the area from infection, too. It was pretty gross. It was getting all blistery. Yuck! Anyway, it is much better now, but I was home from work for the week because in order to use the Domeboro soak four to five times per day, I had to lie down and there is no place to do that (lyingdown) at work.

Saw Ralph Today

Yep. I puked. Yuck. That was this morning. I felt a little pukey after radiation this afternoon, as well.

Monday Monday

I went to work today despite shooting pains in my left underarm and left nipple areas. I tried to not let the shoulder harness of the seat belt irritate the broken skin on my radiated area on my neck. I tried to forget about the burnt skin on my left arm rubbing against the burnt skin on my left side while I was at work. And I tried to follow doctor's orders about not wearing a bra, but come on!

Other than that, everything went fine today, physical therapy included. My PT is Garrett. He is very nice. We are teaching me to not favor my left leg (the one that is numb). It's tough. So far no improvement regarding the numbness. Rats.

The A's beat the Indians this evening. "Wahoo!" Er..."Yeehaw!" (hehehe) Last year, I bought post-season tickets from a friend who has front row season tickets to A's games. Too bad they didn't make it. I am trying to time my purchase just right this year so as not to jinx anything.

Everyday I try and think of ways I can thank the folks in the Pharmacy Development department for all of those get well cards they sent me (two each week!). They signed so many of them over a four month period. Those cards were always filled with so many wonderful kind and caring thoughts and wishes. I was thinking about bringing in a huge cake that said THANK YOU on it, or maybe a huge basket of fruit... I had sent in a card, but I am not sure that they all saw it.

Joanstone is so nice. She gave me a Grande Mocha today...the effects of which I am sure to feel long into the evening hours. Sorry, Mark. HA! [yaddayaddayaddayaddayadda.....repeat.]

The Oakland Athletics are having a Breast Cancer Awareness promotion on September 25th. Because I am a survivor (and because I called the A's Community phone number to tell them that I was a survivor) they mailed me information about their Breast Cancer Day. So I called them again and they have sent me two free bleacher tickets to the game and I am registered to walk on the field during a pre-game ceremony to make a big pink ribbon along with hundreds of other survivors of this awful disease. The A's will be treating us (the survivors) and one other guest (Mark is coming with me) to a pre-game and ceremony luncheon. Plus, the game is going to be on ESPN as the Game of the Week! So watch! You might see me!

Swim A Mile For Cancer

I am registered to Swim A Mile For Women With Cancer on Oct 1, 2005 at Mills College in Oakland!

As you know I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on February 3, 2005. I am currently undergoing Radiation Therapy. By the time of this Mile Swim I will be done with radiation! WOOHOO! Hopefully I will have more energy then. I know I can swim a mile, but have been so tired from the radiation I am glad the swim is a few weeks away still.

My friend, Mitch, told me about this fundraiser for cancer, and I couldn't pass it up.

Please sponsor me or my sister, Arlene. You can use this search page to find us under our nicknames: "Deirdre" or "Arlene". (creative, huh?)

Thank you very much,

Deirdre

https://www.wsdsecure2.com/secure/wcrc2k5/pledge/index.cfm?mode=Pledge

Update For The Week

Man, I have been so tired. I went to work on Tuesday, but I left at 11:00 am because I was not feeling well. I went to physical therapy on Wednesday, so because I had two appointments that day I took a sick day. Physical therapy was hard, and since then I have had a deep pain on the left side of my tailbone. When I left radiation therapy on Wednesday, it looked like I had a gunshot wound on my neck. It was the dressings that the girls put on my neck, actually. My neck is almost purple from the radiation. It feels bad. Anything that brushes against my neck is sure to rip the skin and make an open wound, that is why the girls at radiation put the bandages on my neck. My breast also has broken skin on it. Sherry says it must be a scratch, but I haven't scratched myself there. I think it must be from radiation. Who knows? All I know it that I am dead tired most all of the time and my neck and chest is very tender. The doctor told me I shouldn't wear a bra, but how would that work for going to work? Not well, I bet. Well I thought I would just wear a bra anyway, but I can't do that anymore. Too much irritation. I don't want an open wound.

I am considering signing up for the Swim-A-Mile For Women With Cancer. It will take place on Oct 1 and 2. If I do will you please pledge support for me?

So Tired!

I am sooo tired. I met with Dr. Carmel today and he says it can be attributed to the radiation therapy. The weekend was good. My supraclavicular area (left side of my throat at my clavicle (where shoulder meets the front of my neck) is pretty doggone red and burnt from radiation. It feels rough. Doctor says to use 1% hydrocortisone along with aloe vera gel to help. Dr. Carmel is also expecting for me to have trouble swallowing soon. Luckily, I only have a couple more shots to my supraclav. Soon I will be getting my boost. I am going to call them my boobie boosts. This is the end of my radiation regiment and it consists of high dose radiation to the area where the tumor was....exactly. I will get a couple of weeks worth of boobie boosts.

Labor Day weekend was good. Mark and I went to the Earth, Wind and Fire and Chicago concert this weekend. It was fantastic. I started getting uncomfortable early on, though. I wasn't able to stand and dance like I would have liked to (I did dance some), but just being there was great. I had to use some vicodin to get through it.

Being back at work got a lot harder today than it was last week. The fatigue is really coming on strong. I am contemplating taking more leave for the next few weeks and maybe getting dial-in access so I can access email and such. Just a few weeks to get me past the radiation therapy. It is hard to sit at the desk all day. I go for walks around the office because sitting in the chair is uncomfortable due to the degenerative disc disease that has worsened since the cancer came on.

I am starting physical therapy (PT)tomorrow. This is to work on my back and the disc problem I am having. (did you know that disk and disc can be used interchangeably?) I have been prescribed PT three times per week for four weeks to start.

Kathleen called me today. Kathleen says my pro-time is up to 1.99. Not therapeutic, though. I will increase my coumadin intake to 5 mg every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 4 mg every other day of the week. I will recheck my pro-time in two weeks.

Back At Work

I went back to work on Thursday, September 1st. That's why I haven't posted a blog entry in a few days. Work was okay. Only 1588 email messages to sift through. By the time I left on Friday afternoon, I was down to 160.

I left work earlier than I had planned on Thursday. I left at 2 pm absolutely exhausted. I went straight to radiation therapy (they took me even though I was an hour early), and after that I went right home and had a four hour nap. I was tired.

Friday I managed to stick it out until 2:45 pm. I will make sure I bring my Norco (pain medication) to work with me from now on. Sitting in the chair at work is hard on my back. I took a couple of walks during the day to help take the pressure off my back - it seemed to help.

On Thursday morning I went down the hall to introduce myself and to thank Paula D. (interim Director of Pharmacy- MIS) for her intervention with the H.R. Department on my behalf. Paula is a wonderful lady. She let me know that she cares about me and that she will help me in any way she can. I told her I was a little frightened bythe pressure my supervisor was putting on me. She said she would talk to the new director and let them know that I will need time to get up to speed. She also assured me (and will remind my boss and new director) that she approved contract help for the department while I am recovering and she asked me to do only what I feel up to doing since I am back at work already.

Seeing everyone again was wonderful. It is nice to be back.

Radiation Side Effects Are Kickin' In

They say the fourth week of radiation is when the side effects of radiation start to kick in. They are so right.

"Sun Burned" skin? Check.

Evening nausea? Check.

Exhaustion and fatigue? Check. Double-check. Exclamation point.

I had another bad day the other day. It was the day I really started to notice the side effects. I actually thought the side effects were early...or rather, I didn't know what I was feeling was the side effects because I didn't expect them until after the fourth week. Actually, the side effects come IN the fourth week, not after it.

I was just feeling so darn tired! It was like the tiredness I was feeling when I had low red blood cells after chemo about a month ago. With the tiredness comes a depression because you feel so helpless. However, once I figured out that I was feeling the effects of the radiation, the depression started to ease. It is helpful to know that there is a reason for the fatigue and that the fatigue is important for me to feel - I AM KILLING CANCER!

I am still feeling exhausted all the time, but I know that I only have a few more weeks of radiation therapy left, so that makes it bearable. I also feel heartburn and slight nausea at night when I go to bed.

Pro-Time Update

My blood clot time went down again to 1.72 (17 seconds to clot). So, in order to get the Coumadin to be therapeutic, gotta increase my daily dose from 4 mg per day to 5 mg on Mondays and Thursdays and 4 mg all the other days in the week.

Is this boring information? I think it is. Maybe it gives you, the reader, a sense of how much blood testing I have to do regularly.

Kathleen, my chemo nurse practicioner, tells me that as long as I have the chemo port in my arm, I will have the clot. No one has told me to get ready to have it taken out. I ran into a woman I met in my breast cancer support group - she finished her chemo one month ago and her port has already been removed. I am not sure how long I will have my port in. I hope I don't have it forever, but you never know. After all, I am stage IV cancer. I guess that gives me the highest probability that I will need the chemo port again at some point in my life. As it is now, Dr. Sherman says I will probably have to take Aredia, the bone strengthening drug, for the rest of my life. Aredia is administered via IV (intravenous) drip once a month, so we use the chemo port for that.