Typical Doctor Appointment

I was pretty emotional on the day of my last doctor apointment. Here's why:

My dad passed away 10 years ago at the end of October. My mom died in December 2000. Their birthdays were in September and October, respectively. Plus, it's the holiday season. Joy to the freakin' world, man. Kidding aside, there are times when I get down and can still feel that empty feeling of loss. This day was one of those days.

Dr. Sherman explained that I might also be emotional because of the phase of cancer treatment I am in. I am in the maintenance phase. He explained that the initial attack on the cancer is over - we've done all we can for now. Now it is like waiting for the other shoe to drop. We wait and see what will happen - ever on alert, but not actively killing cancer. We wait until it presents in some symptom. I still need to attend to the side affects of cancer, like my numb leg and my blood clot (both of which I very well may have for several years). I must take my hormone therapy drug every night. And for the rest of my life I will have to get Zometa infusions. Dr. Sherman says this is the hardest part - the waiting. Yes, it has crossed my mind. What a great addition to my holiday emotional buffet of Joy!

I think Dr. Sherman might have had his mind on Thanksgiving Dinner during that last appointment. He was not sure which hormone therapy I was taking. I don't think he could even tell by looking at my file (which was open on his lap). ARIMIDEX. He also forgot that my appointment was for him to review my lab work, just like he does every month before my Zometa infusion. Another example: at the end of my appointment he writes up a slip that I give to the scheduler on my way out. This form tells what I will need for the next visit, and when that visit should be scheduled. He had me down to see him again in two months - but I am supposed to be seen every month. "Ah, you're right, " he said. He corrected his form. Imagine if I did not question that? He also forgot to make a note on a new lab order that results should be sent cc: to my primary care physician.

I know everybody has bad days. I just wish he wouldn't say "How did we forget that?" or "I can believe we overlooked that prescription/shot/lab order form" or "I thought I had scheduled that for you?" as often as he does. Maybe HE has chemo-brain...