Hump Day

I just can't sit here in this chair long enough to think of something to post. It's uncomfortable for me...my back, my legs. It's a heavy, achy feeling in my hips.

I have added vitamins B6 and B12 to my daily pill regiment. Dr. Sherman says it will help with the tingling and numbness in my extremities. I hope so.

Now I am going to go lie down (again).

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

These are my parents on their wedding day. John & Angelita Cronan. They were so proud of us kids. They were married on June 28, 1958. Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad! I miss you both so much. They only made it through 37 years of marriage before Dad died in 1995. Then Mom died in 2000. She really missed Dad so much. They were inseparable. Her heart broke the day he died.

New Breast Cancer Treatment

From the news tonight.

Treating Breast Cancer With One Radiation Dose?

Jun 27, 2005 4:28 pm US/Pacific (CBS 5) For most women, a breast cancer diagnosis surgery followed by six months of difficult radiation treatments. But a Bay Area clinical trial is showing that one dose of radiation may soon be enough.

When early-stage breast cancer recurs, the disease often attacks the same site. So after surgery, patients get a long course of radiation to kill any remaining cancerous cells. That lengthy treatment comes at a cost for patients.

“There is pronounced fatigue, there is also a fairly dramatic skin reaction that happens,” UCSF Radiotherapist Allison Bevan says.

Many patients also live far away from quality radiation centers. Rather than make the trip for daily radiation, some choose to undergo a mastectomy to remove the site of the cancer. Now, UCSF doctors are testing a new approach that may provide a third option for cancer sufferers.

The “Targit” device is designed to work in a single use. The wand-like device is inserted into the breast immediately after the tumor is removed. It delivers 25 minutes of radiation to the surgical site before it is taken out, and the patient is stitched up.

"When a patient wakes up, and they¹re all done with treatment and they go home," says Dr. Bevan

Women say the new procedure provides a huge psychological advantage over previous treatments. Judy Walker lives in Reading, four hours from her treatment center at UCSF. After she was diagnosed in February, she entered the Targit trial.

“My mood is really well, because I’m done with it,” Walker says. “I didn’t get radiation all over the place. I got right where I needed it."

Laura Esserman is Director of the UCSF Breast Care Center. She says the trial is open to postmenopausal women, forty-five and older, who have early-stage, low-risk breast cancers.

"There is no question that being able to give a single dose of therapy in the operating room is infinitely easier on patients. What we need to prove now is that its just as effective,” says Dr. Esserman. “For some patients, it's going to be great. For other patients, it may not work so well.”

To get more data, surgeons also take a tissue sample to study how each woman responds to a single dose of radiation. So far, twenty patients have been treated, with dramatically reduced side effects.

“I was amazed. I’m tired, but that's about it,” Walker says.

Researchers say that the new treatment could also be far less costly that traditional radiation.

Dr. Kim Mulvihill

(© MMV, CBS Broadcasting Inc., All Rights Reserved.)

Can't Sleep Again

I got up because there is no sense in lying there, flopping around in bed....when Mark is sleeping! I may not be able to sleep, but I sure can go potty. WTF?! It's 4:00 am. ARGH. Now I get to just sit here staring at the big TV...watching Sunrise Earth.

Golf

The Tickled Pink Charity Golf Tournament was today. The tournament proceeds go towards my sister Arlene's Avon Walk For Breast Cancer. I didn't go. I was too nauseated and my legs were achy. Mark says it was fun. He won a prize....highest score. Oh well...maybe next time!

Be A Z

On Wednesday I got some practice "being a Z". Dr. Sherman was pretty late getting to our 9:30 am appointment (and I believe it was his first appontment for the day). He was very late. I was getting miffed. Mark said I could pretend I am a Z. ??? He said it would do me good (having a last name that starts with a C) to see what it is like to have a last name that starts with a Z (like him). I didn't like it.

It's ok though, not like Dr. Sherman is every really on time...but I always figured it was because we usually have appointments late in the day....when all of those late starts get piled up. Oh well, he is a busy doctor, and it was a good appointment.

Mark and I know how to entertain ourselves in a room alone. ;-)

Can't Sleep

Can't sleep. Can't even lie down. Every time I try, up comes...well, you know..."whatever".

So, I come out to the livingroom so Mark can get some sleep.

And, maybe while sitting in this chair and watching some boring show on television will put me in a trance and I will eventually fall asleep.

Chemo #7 - check!

I do the same thing every morning before chemo: I wake up, take my shower, get dressed, and then when I am ready I go to Mark and clench my teeth and put on my "game face" (my most intimidating "let's go get 'em" look), clenching and pumping my fists and growl' "Let's go get some pain! Argh!" It's the only way to do it. Sort of like my way of getting into a pool for the first time: yeah, it's gonna be cold at first, but you gotta do it, SO GET IN! Likewise for having your hair come out: it's gonna happen, so you can either be victim and let it happen TO you, or you can go get it! SHAVE IT OFF!

I cried the day and night before, but you wouldn't be able to tell that from the attitude this morning. That's how I deal with it.

********************************

Today I feel a little more fatigue than I normally do...but just a shade. And I am talking about normal meaning a day before I had cancer. Damn, those pre-meds are good stuff!

I am sure to be awake long after I want to be sleeping tonight, though. Damn, those pre-meds are good stuff!

********************************

Here's something you probably didn't know about chemotherapy: if you have to go to the restroom during chemotherapy, you gotta take your pole with you .

(Attn BOB: I AM TALKING ABOUT THE IV POLE)

Jennifer, one of the nurses, refers to the IV Pole as "your dancing partner". Cute, huh? Is she seeing graceful movement with the poles? Crazy. Couldn't be. Maybe she is trying that reverse psychology stuff.

Accomplishing a trip to the potty while attached to your IV Pole is a difficult task in itself. Then, take into consideration the three nurses, the other five folks getting infusions and their poles, the visitors/caretakers/companions/boyfriends/husbands/garbage guy who takes away all the used needles and other toxic waste, and the highly toxic chemicals of mass destruction, and we are talking about something akin to navigating a mine field. The whole infusion area I am talking about is about the size of two motorhomes...in the shape of an L. Oh, I didn't mention the Barcaloungers that are in the recline position, of course. PLUS YOU GOTTA GO PEE! Let's just say it takes practice. I am getting pretty good at it. Hell, I spend at least four hours there starting from 8:00 am. They tell you to drink lots of fluid. Then they pump you full of liquid goo. Who wouldn't get practice with all of that? Well I had five practices today. I am getting good at it. Just think, I may have it down real tight by my next chemotherapy appointment. Which will be, of course, my LAST chemotherapy appointment.

*******************************

I want to say those chemo nurses, Judy, Gwennie-Gwen-Gewn and Mary are the epitome of grace in the infusion room. They move through the battlefield with not only grace but poise and professionalism. They are cat-like in their agility as they get in and around to the patients. Always so courteous and cheerful and tender. They clearly enjoy their work. They make it a great place to be... well, if you gotta be there. Thank you, Ladies!

It really is God's work, to be one of the chemo nurses. They are so compassionate. They have made me feel so well cared for. They attend to us constantly. I am sure my file is studied prior to my arrival ...from beginning to end. They make sure they know all about me: what I have been through, what I am about to go through, how I am feeling about things, my concerns from my doctor's notes....everything. It is amazing to me that they do this not only for me but for everyone...I see it every time. I feel so special when I am there: they treat me that way. But, I see them treat everyone that way. I notice the faces of the others who get that special treatment, and I know they feel so special, too. Just think, they do this every day....they do this several times per day. I am only one. It is awesome. They are wonderful. Angels.

********************************

Okay, my least favorite part of chemotherapy (which you may know already): my shot of Neulasta. DANG, THAT HURTS!

********************************

My Pro-Time (therapy for my blood clot) is a little low (1.9) so I get another adjustment. I will go from 5 mg daily to 5 mg every day, but Mondays and Fridays I will take 6 mg. We'll see how that works.

I Love Wednesdays

I had a pretty emotional day today. Wednesdays before chemo is usually very emotional. Today more than usual. I feel so good on these Wednesdays.... Then comes chemo on Thursday. Poo! I went for a ride to drop off a couple of presents for my friend Amitha, then to my sister Arlene's house in Pittsburg. Then I came home and picked up Mark for some errand running. We went to the new 76 staton near our home. We went to the bank and to my Aunt's house, over to Panda Express and to Longs Drugs. It is so nice to go for a drive with Mark. We don't go very many places lately except to the doctor's office. I was so happy that we were out together at one point I just burst out in tears. I love him very much. I wish Wednesdays before chemo could last 40 hours. I really don't like chemo Thursdays. There are only two more of them, I will get through it. It's just that... IT SUCKS!

I had an appointment this morning with Dr. Sherman. My CBC was fine. We also talked about the future a little. Dr. Sherman wrote up an order for a new PET scan. Yuck. I don't like California Imaging: the receptionist is mean and condescending. Here is my story from the first time I visited there. We are having another PET scan to follow up on the abnormal scan we had from back in early March. There was a spot on my arm that was cause for concern...but after chemotherapy. Now that chemo is almost done, we can check it out again...my arm, that is.

Discovery Of The Day (Rude Awakening Of The Day): Steely Dan's song: "Hey Nineteen" has the followig lyric that I just figured out for the first time today: "The Cuervo Gold/ The fine Columbian/ Make tonight a wonderful thing" OMG. It's about drugs. =:o

Summer Solstice

Today is the longest day of the year. Actually, it is the same length, but the sunlight lasts the longest today. Summer Solstice is the day when Summer officially begins. Do something fun.

Good Day Today

I went to the movies with my sister, Erin, tonight. We saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith. It was okay. My back hurts now. Actually, it hurt then, too. I took my Coumadin to the movies. It's hard to sit still for that long. I like it here in my house. It's cozy. I have my Mark here. :)

Google Maps

I just tried Google's Map Beta....IT'S AWESOME. You can view your map from satellite point of view. Check it out! Here is a map of the place Mark and I work. You can drag the map, and zooming is so easy. I was fooling around and mapped the route between Mark's hometown in Ohio and our house. Google mapped it in an instant. I viewed it in Satellite view, and found so many interesting things.

Anyway, really like the Google Map Beta. :)

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day! We didn't get to the cemetery this year. Darn it.

My back has been bothering me lately. I have a herniated disc and it has been acting up on me the last couple of months. Especially bad these last couple of weeks. Thank goodness the sciatica has not come back since last year!

I have been tired a lot lately. I sleep quite a bit. I usually have a 2 to 3 hour nap during the day and then 7 hours or so at night.

I got another lovely GET WELL card in the mail from My Friends At Longs. They are great people. Thank you! My cousin, Josie Lynn, came out to the house to pick up the phone she inadvertently left in my backseat the other night. She tells me her sister, Remedy is doing fine.

Remedy came home from UCSF on Friday after only one night in the hospital following brain surgery to remove a benign tumor.

I confided in Mark yesterday evening about my tingling hands and feet. I told him that I feel the tingling is excessive and it worries me, but I don't want to tell Kathleen or Dr. Sherman because they might reduce my dose of chemotherapy. I don't want them to reduce it because I want to kill cancer on schedule! But Mark reminded me that Kathleen said it is very important to keep an eye on because the tingling and numbness could be permanent. Mark says we need to tell the doctor. Ok, we'll tell him on Wednesday.

Ultrasound Today

Cindy from Dr. Sherman's office called. She said my Pro-Time results were clot time of 39 seconds (target is 20 to 35). So I do not take Coumadin tonight and restart again tomorrow decreasing it from 6 mg to 5 mg daily. I gotta get a picture of Cindy. We like Cindy a lot. :)

My fingers are pruny. I think it is because of the chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy. My fingers are very tingly and so are my feet.

I got an ultrasound this afternoon. There is a seroma in my armpit. Mark says it is a glob of goo. It is actually a pocket of serum. Harmless. But when I touch it it hurts. We'll have to get back to Dr. Sherman and see what he says we'll do about it. I think he said he was going to refer me back to Dr. Gorey (my surgeon). My ultrasound technician was Susan (formerly)Escajeda. I remember her from way back: she went to the Mr. Uglyman dance with my brother, Michael back in 1976 or so. Hehehe. It's always nice to run into people I know. Mark thinks I should work for the FBI...since I seem to know people wherever I go.

I asked the radiologist if I ever am going to come back to verify the clot is gone and he told me they rarely see patients to verify a clot in the arm is gone. Isn't that strange? So I am just supposed to be on Coumadin for the rest of my life? I don't want that. I just want to be on Coumadin until I don't have to be. This concerns me. Like, I found this seroma myself...but aren't I supposed to be looked after? I wonder when the radiation is done, what then? Will I have follow ups? A few months back I had an abnormal PET scan and also an abnormal MRI. The area in question is right where my clot seems to be - in my left arm. Well, we are not doing anything about those abnormal tests...we are just going to continue with the chemo and radiation plan....and we'll look at it afterwards. It seems like no one cares about that left arm. I don't know. It feels like I am on the cancer treatment train and that train doesn't stop for individual attention for things like mine....questions.

My cousin had her brain surgery today...she is doing well! Alright Remedy! She has already gone home. Only a one night stay at UCSF. Those guys are good.

Thursday

I got my Pro-Time checked yesterday, but I forgot to call for the results. On my way to Quest I stopped by A Sweet Affair to get a box of cookies for my friends there at Quest. I was so tired again yesterday. My legs and feet are pretty tingly and numb. I feel like a bump on a log. No energy. I tried to get the grocery shopping done after visiting Quest, but all managed to get in the cart was a head of iceberg lettuce, two deli sandwiches and that's it. So I didn't even get over to Auntie Josie to bring her a puzzle book. Rats! I feel useless.

The Week In Review

Got a call from Uncle Luis: Auntie Josie is in the hospital (Mt. Diablo). So I went to visit her. She is doing well. She developed AFIB so she will be on Coumadin, like me.

I took another trip to Manteca on Tuesday, too. My cousin Remedy and I went to pick up her sister, Josie, from Sacramento International Airport. Josie came down for Remedy's brain surgery at UCSF. Remedy has a brain tumor that is being operated on as I type this. God Bless Remedy! I didn't get home until 12:30 am on Wednesday morning.

Monday I was not feeling well at all. I actually started crying when Mark was leaving for work...and I don't know why. Just a bundle of emotions, I think.

Tuesday was much better. Unfortunately, I went all out...with the trip to see Auntie Josie, and the trip to Manteca. I have a tendency to overdo on days that I feel better than usual. Of course, the next day, I pay for it.

Wednesday I was totally pooped. I didn't even get up until 4:45 pm.

So here it is, Thursday, and I need to get my fanny down to Quest to get my blood drawn so we can find out if the Coumadin is therapeutic. I think I will ask for a CBC, too. Just because I am curious about my White Blood Cell count. Hehehe. The CBC is not really due until next week. So this CBC will be just for my own info. Maybe I will be able to see if my exhaustion is due to a bit of anemia or something. I don't go back to see Dr. Sherman ntil next week, so I am looking for a little more info for myself.

I have lots to do today. But I am still tired. I want to go by the hospital to bring Auntie Josie some puzzle books, and I definitely need to go to Longs Drugs and to Safeway...we are out of groceries. I have this list of stuff, but no energy to go get it or put it away. We'll see. I need to callback the A/C folks...it's broken again. I also need to schedule the window people to fix a window ...yet again.

I still have my bruises. It doesn't feel right to have them so long. They are so ugly.

But first....going to get my blood drawn. Anything else I get done will be a bonus at this point.

bruise from one of my injections 

another shot of the bruise on my right forearm 

a bruise on my right forearm 

a bruise on my knee 

Baseball and Sunshine

Mark and I had tickets to the Indians versus the SF Giants at SBC Park on Saturday night, but we did not go. I think Mark was in a funk. I was a bit tired from the car wash but Mark just wasn't feeling like going.

Sunday, we did go to the game. I was afraid to go...I wanted Mark to go with someone else. We checked with our friend Kathy, but she couldn't go. It's hard to find someone to go when you only have a few hours notice. I was nervous about going. I was unsure about what my body could handle...especially on a chemo week. Mark had gotten us tickets to sit directly behind home plate at SBC Park, Row B (2). They were awesome seats. We got to the game eventually after having been stuck on the Muni train for a half hour or so while they figured out their main computer power outage. But still we got there at about 11:15 am (gates open at 11:00 am). It was important for us to get there early so we could relax and get comfortable and not have to fight through crowds. Plus, we got to watch batting practice.

But it was sooo hot. It was so hot I got a headrush and felt like I was going to blackout. Mark took me right down underneath in the field club so I could rest. It turns out I could not go back out there and we left the game before the first inning. It was awful . Mark really wanted to go. I felt like I let him down. Such good seats! What a waste. Mark is sure it was the hot weather that did me in. I am on chemotherapy, but I am also on Coumadin (blood thinner), and the heat will only exacerbate the blood thinning.

You should see my bruises. They are the size of lemons. I will post pictures of them after this post.

Saturday and the Car Wash

Saturday we held a car wash at Raley's in Pittsburg. It was good! Washed a lot of cars, made some money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, and met some nice people. I helped wash the first couple of cars, but I slipped and fell down on the grass and then was relegated to manning the car wash table and the money. I have a couple of pretty big bruises. One from my Neulasta shot (in my left arm), one on my right forearm (it's huge) and one on my right knee. I will post the pictures up in a little while. I am sure my Pro-Time is going to be high this week.

Ok this is enough. I am going to lie down...I don't feel well.

The Iced Tea Is Off The Hook

Well, I didn't have any iced tea on Thursday, so it must be the chemotherapy that keeps me awake all night on Thursday nights. I had thought it was all of the iced tea I had at Tony Roma's two weeks ago...I guess I was wrong!

Tickled Pink Team logo for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

Tickled Pink Car Wash

There will be a car wash this Saturday June 11th at the Raley's parking lot in Pittsburg (on Buchanan Road). The proceeds will be going to my team's Avon Walk For Breast Cancer. Please come out and get your car washed! I have made my $1800.00 minimum but my sister, Arlene, still needs donations.

You can also donate to her walk by clicking here

Hopefully we can reach her minimum so we can walk together. We will be walking in memory of my mother, Angie. My mom was a breast cancer survivor.

About my Pro-Time

My Pro-Time results were a little low, I think. We didn't get a chance to find out the actual INR/PT results, but Kathleen is increasing my dose of Coumadin for the next week and I go back to check it again on Thursday. I need to increase my dose starting tonight from 5 mg to 6 mg.

My CBC

We did have some abnormal results in the CBC. Apparently my White Blood Cell count was 43.(something) and the range should have been 7.0 to 10.(something), so I was waaaay over the top. Don't know why. Too bad we missed the appt with Dr. Sherman....he could have helped explain this. Rats. Also, I got an additional shot today from Mary. Something to increase my red Blood Cells or my Hemoglobin. I forgot the name of the drug.

Chemo #6 - check!

It's all good (so far).

We got screwed up again this week. We normally have our meeting with Dr. Sherman the day before chemotherapy...to go over the results of the CBC (complete blood count). We usually meet with him on Wednesday at 3:30 or 4:00 pm. This week, however, our meeting was for Wednesday at 9:45 am. We didn't realize we missed the appointment until I got up and out of the shower at 10:00 am and checked the calendar. Whoopsie. So I went to Quest anyway and had blood drawn for both the CBC and the Pro-Time test. I just took the results of the CBC home with me and brought them to chemo today. I figured Dr. Sherman would take a look at them if he was there and Kathleen was going to check my Pro-Time results today anyway. All I know is I did not want the missed apointment to put a snag or delay of any kind in my chemotherapy.

So. Chemotherapy started off a little rocky. Mary could not get my port irrigated at first. It took about five minutes before she could get things moving in there, actually. I started to worry a little bit because my shoulder had felt *funny* earlier this week. And frankly, the left side of my body has not been cooperative with the whole cancer thing. Anyway, the chemotherapy was underway and everything was smooth sailing from there on out. It turns out that the needle was a little too deep into the port for use, but Mary is good at what she does so it was just a small hitch.

Mark was not as lucky as I. He had a rough day. Mark works very hard all week. He puts in many many hours...he averages 80 hours a week (at least 12 per day plus working from home on the weekends and whatever middle-of-the-night calls he gets...and he gets them regularly, trust me.) The problem-du-jour, or crisis-of the-moment (as he calls it) is that a test environment was accidentally pointing to real (live) stores and a job was run which sends price updates! 474 stores were affected, about 1000 items per store. He found this out during my chemotherapy and immediately began bargaining with the chemo nurses for drugs ot ar least an IV hookup! That problem is now fixed (good job team!), but now the concern is that there won't be enough time to get the weekend ads down to the stores by Saturday afternoon. Tonight and tomorrow will be interesting. Poor Mark. What gets his mind off cancer and chemo? Really, really bad , million dollar, career busting problems at work. What gets his mind off really, really bad million dollar, career busting problems at work? Cancer and chemo. He can never catch a break. When we got home Mark looked like a different person than the guy who drove me to chemo. He looked like HE was the one who got chemotherapy today. He looked beat up, and I am pretty sure he felt worse than I did. Someone, please take Mark to a baseball game!

I took a nap today after we got home. I feel okay right now. Tomorrow I expect won't be as good. I have meds that control nausea for 24 hours. I am not looking forward to the 25th hour. ;-)

Kathy and everyone else: thank you for the get well cards! Now stop it! Buying all of those Hallmark cards will not cause your profit sharing to increase that significantly! Hahahaha! Seriously, you are all wonderful, but you must be getting sick of writing those things in all of those cards! I am doing the best I can, and I feel the love...thank you thank you thank you! I just don't want you guys to get sick of me. And I am on track and doing everything the doctor told me. Now on the other hand, I could use some help and wishes losing weight! If you can say a few prayers for me in that arena, I would appreciate it! (snicker, snicker...pardon the expression)

Mary, one of my chemotherapy nurses 

Manteca

Auntie Josie and I went to visit my aunt & uncle at my cousin Remedy's house in Manteca. What a great day. I even got in the pool. Funny, when I would come up out of the water I would throw my head back as if to move the hair away from my face! It was so good to swim (can't remember the last time I had...weird for a girl who was a competitive swimmer for 12 years). I am going to work it in to my day whenever I feel well enough. Of course today I feel great (it is the day before chemotherapy).

Auntie Josie, Auntie Remmie, Me, Remedy, Kevin, James, Destiny and Uncle Chuck 

Deirdre (right out of the pool) 

Auntie Remmie with Joe in her face 

Destiny, and my mother's sisters: Auntie Remmie and Auntie Josie

Packages

My left shoulder feels a little weird today...all day. I don't know how to describe the way it feels any better than that. Maybe I slept wrong. Or maybe my shirt sleeve was cutting off the circulation a little. Don't know. I hope it feels better tomorrow. My sciatica has been acting up, too. My back is sore most all day. My favorite chair is not helping things. The chair makes my back hurt even more it seems. These two things: the shoulder and the sciatica, made it pretty difficult to get to sleep last night.

I am noticing that I am being a little bit weird about leaving the house. I feel so safe here. And I definitely don't feel like going anywhere without Mark. I am not sure if it is about leaving the medicine, or what. Could be that I feel in control here and not other places. Dunno. Tomorrow, however, I am going to give myself an exercise....going for a ride with my Auntie Josie. I will bring my meds. We will be fine. Happy thing of the day: Got three packages in the mail today! Two from Hilo Hattie's in Hawaii, and one from Illuminations.

Weekend and Walking

Mark and I went for walks on both Saturday and Sunday. Kathleen didn't tell me it was against the rules, so we went. It was good. I am not used to walking much these days but to go wake up the muscles. I have gained a lot of weight over the last few months...but I am ok. One thing at a time. On Saturday we went just a short walk over in Clayton. On Sunday we went over to Newhall Park. Yes, I felt good this weekend...didn't even take Vicodin today. And only one yesterday. I got tired pretty quickly, but the important thing to remember is that we are just getting moving. This is a not a sprint, it is a marathon.

Watched a few good movies this week: The Aviator, Collateral, and Finding Neverland. Auntie Josie and Uncle Luis came over for barbeque today (my first home-made attempt at pork rib marinade[awesome] and fruit salad[awesome]) and we watched National Treasure. All good movies. I especially liked The Aviator because I was able to prepare by watching a special program about Howard Hughes on the History Channel the very same day. Heehee.

I have been having a hard time remembering to take my Coumadin at exactly the same time everyday so I decided to (duh) set an alarm on my cell phone. Good job, Deirdre.

I only have about seventeen electronic gadgets that could keep between them all about 56 alarms.....

My sister got pretty worried on Friday. She hadn't heard from me. I had turned down the ringer on the phone because it rings incessantly. It is hard to get any rest sometimes because of the telemarketers and whoever the heck that calls and hangs up when I answer it. My legs were bothering me quite a bit last week so I turned the ringer down. Well sorry, Arlene...Yes I am alive. I should not have done that without letting you know. I do appreciate your concern. :)

Ok, time to go to bed. Have a great week!

Eyelashes

My eyelashes and eyebrows are getting pretty thin. I think it's because my eyes are constantly watering, and so I get crusty buildup throughout the day. Then when I wash my face, my eyelashes just come out.

Stinkin' Thinkin'

I got to my lowest emotional point of chemotherapy just this last weekend.

I was feeling fine on Friday afternoon. Then the muscle and bone pain got pretty bad over the weekend. I actually was contemplating whether or not I would continue chemotherapy. Of course I will continue. But this weekend, I did not want to.

When Mark and I went to get my CBC on Thursday, we met a woman who had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000. She is on her 4th round of chemo infusions. She is a miracle, I tell you. She is a very nice lady, and very chipper. (It's always great to meet and speak with someone who doesn't make the sad facial expression when you say the word "cancer").

She seemed so strong. After last weekend, I can only hope to have that much "chipper" in me after the next few chemo infusions.

Not to worry. I am in better spirits now. I am going to be fine. We'll deal with whatever comes, whenever it comes. :)

It's DAN JOHNSON

Hello?! If that FSN Announcer calls Dan Johnson "Hatteberg" one more time, I am gonna scream.

Pro-Time update

Ok, so my blood is clotting like a regular person again (18 seconds). So now we need to get back up to between 20 and 30 seconds. I will take 5 milligrams of Coumadin every night and we'll test again next Thursday to see how 5 mg is working out.

Another Bloody Nose

I had another bloody nose today. I think it has to be due to the amount of housework I managed to get done. I always knew housecleaning could kill you.

I noticed another bruise...this one on the back of my left hand. So now both hands match. It's not as purple as the right hand, but it does have quite a bump on it. I will have to show this to Kathleen, too.

I feel some neuropathy in my fingertips...not too bad.

The muscle and bone pain is well controlled thanks to the Vicodin. This is Vicodin left over from my first surgery on February 10th. I am running out now, so we will contact Kathleen for a new prescription soon.

Tomorrow morning I go back to Quest Diagnostics for a Pro-Time check (to make sure I am in the target range for the Coumadin to be therapeutic).

I need to go back to Ultrasound at John Muir Hospital because they did not get any images of the new mass in my left armpit. I think they got all caught up in the fact that they has found the big clot at that time. So, tomorrow I will call and reschedule so they can take pictures of the mass.

Also tomorrow we have an appointment with Dr. MacAbee (my Radiology Oncologist who is set to retire on July 1st!). He will review my records one last time before handing me off to his successor.

Bloody Nose

I kissed Mark goodnight, and ended up with a bloody nose! So then for the next 30 minutes he was stuffing tissue in my nostril like I was a Contender.

Guess that clot time was no joke.

I am going to have to take my brother Mike's advice:

• Sit in lots of pillows

• Play with as many beach balls as I like