PROJECT: 05-DJC:174.9

This is Deirdre's Breast Cancer Diary. I try to update this blog at least every evening. This is an easy way for me to keep a journal of the experience, and at the same time, I can keep my friends and family up-to-date on what is going on. I find it is not so bad to have cancer, but it is awfully depressing to talk about it. I hope you laugh as you read along. You can find the beginning in February ...in the archives. Thanks again for reading :o)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

A Bigger Leaf Blower, Maybe?

I was thinking the other day about my life. It is like a big unfamiliar paved path...in Autumn...and there are so many leaves that have fallen, I cannot see my path. In Autumn, I know my path is there, I can feel it under my feet. I need to use the leaf-blower, don't I? I have to use it. Just like the path under the leaves, my life path is hidden from me sometimes. It would be great to have a grand idea of how my story is going to unfold, and then have it be that way. But I don't know. And I cannot choose. I can guess, and I can make choices along the way...these help me feel good about where I will end up. But sometimes, I just gotta use the blower. Some days I may only get a yard or two down the path. I may sometimes end up distracted on the lawn...losing sight of the path. But if I keep using that blower, I'll be fine. Every day. Blow the leaves away. Make it fun. Be happy. Be happy that I am removing the obstacles that block my way home. Be excited about the things that I might discover, for they are things that will delight me when I get around them. These obstacles will be the things that mark how far on my path I have come. Without the obstacles I will never know my strength. This breast cancer is dropping a LOT of leaves on my path. I think I will shop for a little bigger leaf blower. In the meantime, Mark and I are working our tails off.

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