PROJECT: 05-DJC:174.9

This is Deirdre's Breast Cancer Diary. I try to update this blog at least every evening. This is an easy way for me to keep a journal of the experience, and at the same time, I can keep my friends and family up-to-date on what is going on. I find it is not so bad to have cancer, but it is awfully depressing to talk about it. I hope you laugh as you read along. You can find the beginning in February ...in the archives. Thanks again for reading :o)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Bad Dream

I am finding it increasingly difficult to get to sleep at night. I had a bad dream about two weeks ago: I was having my first infusion of chemotherapy and at some point I felt something was going wrong with the medication going into my body...then I started feeling woozy and tried to alert a nurse. The nurse was already aware that I needed attention, and came to my side and started fiddling with the chemo port and catheter in my arm. In my dream I felt she was getting frustrated because I was asking her for help and because she was unsure that she would be able to figure out what was going wrong. I managed to utter a faint "Help me" but shortly thereafter I died...in my dream. It was actually quite peaceful, and I woke up from the dream shortly thereafter. I told Dr. Kelly about this dream and she acknowledged that what I am going through is a very scary thing. "And," she said, "you are going to get through it."
Mark is a very light sleeper and I try not to keep him up, too. But he is getting pretty exhausted with all of this like me and so is sleeping much deeper than normal. Bless his heart.

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