PROJECT: 05-DJC:174.9

This is Deirdre's Breast Cancer Diary. I try to update this blog at least every evening. This is an easy way for me to keep a journal of the experience, and at the same time, I can keep my friends and family up-to-date on what is going on. I find it is not so bad to have cancer, but it is awfully depressing to talk about it. I hope you laugh as you read along. You can find the beginning in February ...in the archives. Thanks again for reading :o)

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Mixed Emotions

I have had mixed emotions for the last couple of weeks. I am getting sad about the end of chemotherapy (tomorrow). I have become attached to the love and support of those ladies at the infusion center! What will happen now? Who will be taking care of me? Who will be watching my progress? Will they forget about me? It was nice and comforting to know that every two weeks someone was looking at my lab reports, someone was checking on my status, my progress. Now, will I fall off the radar? I must admit, I have felt so important, so special. Now I am a little afraid of the future.
In the next few weeks I will begin radiation therapy. I don't know anyone who has had radiation therapy. I don't know what to expect. On the other hand, I didn't know about chemo before I started chemo, though, either. It guess it's just the beginning of my next adventure.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad chemotherapy is coming to an end, and that makes me happy. But the infusion room nurses (Gwen, Mary and Judy) and the others (Jennifer, Summer, Cindy and Ruby, and let's not forget spunky Kathleen!) have turned something scary into a very loving, healing environment and experience. Another example of something that could have been rotten into something special. This was a life-changing experience is so many ways.

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